Alright…Who Told the Theater it was April Fools Day?

Cause whoever did it deserves to be shot for that MEAN TRICK.

Today was the work day from hell.

I’ve started working at my local movie theater again.  My favorite position to work is Podium.  In layman’s terms, I’m the person who tears your ticket and says “Theater 3 is to the left.  Enjoy your movie.”  I’m also the first person that a customer sees when they come OUT of their movie to complain or go to the bathroom.

So I guess the day started going downhill at about 12:05.  (I got to work at 11:30.)

No, there’s no guessing involved.  I can tell you that my day went to hell in a handbasket at exactly 12:05 when projector 9 broke down.  In theater 9, we’re showing War Horse.  Well, the movie was supposed to start at 12:05.  Unfortunately, since the problem couldn’t be fixed, at around 12:38 I had to go into the theater and tell the 60 some-odd people in there that we wouldn’t be showing the movie during the first round.  Thankfully, they understood and went to see other things.  We handed out raincheck passes just to be safe.

The next showing of War Horse was due to start at 3:05.  This allowed plenty of time to fix the projector.  All was well until 3:05 when we went to start the movie and it…once again…didn’t work.  I had to go in and announce that we were aware of the problem and that they were trying to fix it.  (Mind you, many of the people in that movie were previously in the failed 12:05 showing as well…)

After TWO brainwraps (where the film gets tangled around the brain of the projector and can potentially start a fire), the film was working…until it shut down for no particular reason.  Finally, after much semi-hysterical laughter from me, the projectionist switched out the broken piece on projector 9 with the same piece from projector 6 (her logic being that theater 6, Red Tails, didn’t start until 4:00, so that’d leave plenty of time to see if they could fix it).

War Horse finally started.

Theater 2, 4, and 7 were all missing something from the pre-show, be it sound or picture.  Theater 4 didn’t have picture once the movie was actually started.  We had to start it over during the trailers.

No one came out to tell me that theater 10, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, didn’t start on time…so it started 12 minutes late.

At about 4:00, the internet at the theater decided to go down.  That basically means that for 30 minutes, we couldn’t charge anything to a credit/debit card.  Cash only.  And we don’t have an ATM.

One particular group of customers had apparently never been to a movie theater in their life because when I told them they couldn’t take in their coffee, they blew a gasket.  “No.  I’m not throwing this away.  I paid $4 for it!”  (I am immensely proud of the fact that I did not blurt out my immediate thought, “Well, the ticket was only $1.00.  You should go ask for a refund and enjoy your expensive coffee.”)  After a brief yelling session (on their part) and a reciting of the rules (on my part), they demanded to speak to my manager.  This five minute discussion culminated in my manager letting them in because she didn’t want to be yelled at.  (Afterwards, three or four customers who overheard the large group demanding to be let in specifically came up to me and/or my manager and told us that they were “fat assholes” who had “clearly never been to a theater in their life…”)

At that point, I was peeved.  I had to take a “bathroom break” and another one of my managers felt so bad for me that she took me to go get frozen yogurt.

I got back to podium, determined to fight through the rest of the day.

Until someone came out of the women’s restroom saying that some lady was throwing up in the sink.  I went in and the lady was gone, but the sink was clogged up.

…ALL DONE.

I walked out of the bathroom, informed someone else of the problem, and wiped my hands of the matter.

My jurisdiction ends at the podium!  There’s only so much I can handle.

…Today was ridiculous.  I just want to sleep now.

Author: alisonlcohn

Graduated magna cum laude with a degree in Communications Advertising. Traveled a bit. Taught for two years. Administered aptitude tests for a while. Worked as a Training Associate for Guardian Mortgage and a Quiz Master for Geeks Who Drink. Obtained my Master's in Film, Television and Screen Media in London, England. Now seeking a full-time something-or-other. Nice to meet you!

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