As my previous post so gloriously explained, my last week was spent participating in the World’s Largest Scavenger Hunt (GISHWHES). And as I explained in said post, I fully intend to give you a rundown of the shenaniganery that occurred.I’ll start with my items and then share my favorite items from various members of my team.
Two elderly men playing chess by candlelight in front of the front row of a crowded movie theater while the film plays in the background.
Many people think superheroes have a great life of running around saving people with lots of public recognition for their grand deeds. But we know the truth. They have to do the same domestic chores in their off time that we do. Let’s see a superhero performing a tedious domestic chore.
Let’s see a picture of you and a friend, dressed as Jedi knights, enjoying a root beer float at the White Turkey Drive-In in Conneaut, Ohio, or at another 1950s-style dining facility. Bonus points for being served by a Sith.
Have a child under 7 choose your outfit, do your makeup, and fix your hair. Then go grocery shopping with them.
Let’s stop sugar-coating our grievances and complaints! Actually, strike that— let’s actually sugar coat them. Confront your boss or employee about an issue in the workplace that has been irking you. While doing so, you must be entirely coated in powdered sugar. Your body language must convey your frustration.
Nobody ever talks about the fact that 250 years ago, stormtroopers who had been abandoned on planet Earth were forced to assimilate into pre-Industrial culture. Dramatically re-enact this difficult time. Show a stormtrooper getting back to basics using a spinning wheel, butter churn, or other old-fashioned tool or machine in a rural setting. Feel free to add accessories to the stormtrooper’s outfit to make their assimilation more complete—a Shaker-style hat, a musket slung over the shoulder, etc.
Share your video in slow motion.You are throwing an elegant party. Show us your sophistication by decanting red wine directly into your guests’ mouths. Properly aerate the wine by pouring it from at least 2 stories above the guests. The guests, of course, must be wearing white.
At gishwhes headquarters, we do almost everything right, with one glaring exception: we have not yet commissioned a gishwhes theme-song. We need a catchy, 10-second jingle that we can play every time the Slangaroo takes the stage.
Gymnasts around the world are gearing up for the Olympics. Show a gymnast in action on a balance beam, vault, floor exercises, etc. proudly wearing their “pizzatard” (unitard made from pizza). If that sounds too challenging, you have the option of putting them in a fishtard, a fruittard or a friestard. Any of these options garner the same point value.
Time-lapse this submission to 20 seconds or less. 3-D printers are really cool. But who really needs another little keychain printed out of plastic? It is time to get creative with the materials used to print your next copy of the head of a Balrog. Show us a 3-D printer that prints with cheese (or Silly String, or toothpaste, or Play-Doh, etc…)
This submission may be 25 seconds or less. Employ a modern dance company to explain what really happened to the dinosaurs.
Everyone knows Gishers throw the most badass recycling parties. Invite ten of your rockstar friends to help you collect litter from a park, roadside location, or public space. You must EACH collect 20lbs of debris, and dispose of it appropriately. Show us a 15 second montage of the festivities. (Extra points for recycling— and don’t forget, it’s a party!).
Time-lapse this submission to 20 seconds or less. Join The Hunt, and wear sensible shoes. Grab a friend and go for a walk. A really, really long walk. Unlock the 2.0KM, 5.0KM and 10.KM Poke Eggs and show us what you’ve hatched. Capture the journey in a 20 second time-lapse video and to Gishwhes. Extra Points if you photo grab your hatchlings and ping @OsricChau with a map of your travels.
A functioning vending machine that dispenses emotions and memories. Show a customer making a purchase.
Few things are more wayward than dancing with wild abandon in public. You know who’s super good at that? Those flappy arm guys. Find them. Join them. Let them inspire your choreography and costuming. Bonus points for inducting innocent bystander or use of an obscure 80s alternative dance tune soundtrack. Dance like nobody’s watching. Except we all are.
This video may be up to 20-seconds. Everyone knows how important specific diets are in developing a chiseled physique. Find a bona fide, professional, competitive bodybuilder or ultimate fighter in peak condition and have them create a 20-second infomercial touting the muscle-building, fat-burning, nutrient-loaded virtues of aerosol spray cheese (like Cheeze Whiz). We must hear the athlete’s name, credentials and see their glistening, oiled, body as they “sell” us (however they best can do that) on the benefits and delicious taste of the aerosol spray cheese. This should probably include ravenously squirting the cheese directly into their mouth. Bonus points if you get a former World Champion.
A freight train engine pulling a tiny flatcar (a utility flatcar, not a big cargo flatcar) with a woman dressed in Victorian attire, sitting at a writing desk with a vase of flowers on it, writing a letter to her beloved.
Magazines get a lot of flak for airbrushing models, promoting unrealistic expectations and contributing to body image issues. Take a photo from a magazine that depicts a body that is an unrealistic ideal (and likely heavily Photoshopped to remove wrinkles, blemishes, and curves) and, using Photoshop, recreate what you believe to be the original, unretouched photo. Your Photoshopped image must include all of the following: additional limbs, machinery, tentacles, and at least one additional enhancement. Then caption the two photos side-by-side and post to social media. Under the original commercial image you must caption, “#makeup” and under your photoshopped image caption, “#nomakeup.” Tag the post with #MakeupNoMakeup. a screenshot of your post.
Your choice! Either a panda made of sanitary pads – a “Padna,” if you will, or a likeness of a totalitarian world leader made entirely of feminine hygiene products.
Two images, side by side: The first photo is a close up of just your face and head with a garland of fresh flowers on your head. The second photo takes advantage of your talents as a highly skilled hair and makeup artist: it is the same person, wardrobe, framing, and lighting as the first photo, but this time you have aged. You are 95 years old and the garland of flowers have long-since wilted and died.
Wallpaper an entire wall of your bedroom with photos of your nose. You must cover every inch of the wall and must have AT LEAST 100 pictures of your nose. Pose in front of it with your finger up your nose.
Dress up as a Bellossom or other grass-type Pokemon and plant some beautiful blossoms at a nearby Pokestop.
There’s one thing everyone has always agreed on: you have mad artichoke-repurposing skills.
The versatility of corn is amazing— it has so many uses! However, there’s no better use for corn than this year’s must-have fashion statement: the Corn Husk Bikini or Corn Husk Evening Wear! Feel free to color the husks, as well as to accent and accessorize with kernels.
Live your dream. You know, the one you had while you were sleeping last night.
Recreate a painting by Goya in candy.
Gishwhes is proud to premiere Amazon’s new shopping service, Amazon Reverse Super Prime Now On Demand Fresh™ (ARSPNODF™)! Forget the old business model of customers buying things from online megastores and having to wait for almost a whole day for delivery. With this new service, customers can now ship merchandise to any Amazon senior executive directly through our patented Swift Drone Delivery Service™. With Amazon Reverse Super Prime Now On Demand Fresh™, the Amazon executives can receive packages from customers conveniently just outside their own office buildings in under one hour. Get Jeff Bezos or any Amazon senior executive to send you a timestamped email ordering a small, lightweight, used item from your home to be delivered by ARSPNODF™. Using a drone as the delivery mechanism, deliver the item ordered to the executive (who must be waiting for their package outside their office building) office in less than one hour. the original order along with a timestamped photo of your happy customer with their item delivered by drone. Amazon Reverse Super Prime Now On Demand Fresh™. It’s so easy!
127 POINTS – Incomplete (but submitted this instead…)
Those moving sidewalks at the airport are treadmills, and you never exercise without your ipod, short shorts, a tank top and matching head and wristbands.
Time-lapse this submission to 20 seconds or less. Get permission from a museum to temporarily replace a painting worth more than $100,000 with a forgery of the same painting. The forgery must be painted by an 8-year old and we must see time-lapse showing ALL OF THE following 3 occurrences for you to receive points: (1) removal of the original painting (caption with the name of the painting and estimated value), (2) installation of the child’s painting, and (3) patrons viewing the child’s painting.
This submission may be 25 seconds or less. Recently a former NASA engineer created the world’s largest NERF gun (http://nerdist.com/former-nasa-engineer-builds-worlds-largest-functional-nerf-gun/). We think he didn’t try hard enough. Show the world that you can out-do his efforts. Your submission must clearly surpass his effort or you will receive no points. – Dave Lavery
Time-lapse this submission to 30 seconds or less. Paint a Bob Ross painting. We must see both the painter replicating the Bob Ross painting and the playback of the Bob Ross video the painter is replicating. You must paint in real-time while he is painting. The video should end with a side-by-side comparison of your masterpiece and Bob Ross’s.
And last but not least:
Grid image of all 15 of your team members (5 rows of 3 columns). Let’s see each member of your team dressed in some way emblematic of that member’s state, region or country. For example, if a team member is from New York, the photo might show that member of the team wearing a yankees hat while eating a slice of pizza.
And those are just the ones that I like! If you want to see more videos, feel free to check out our playlist.
Until next year. Peace out, bitches!